you know what they say about those who assume...

warning: a bit of a rant.

yesterday i found myself explaining, once again, why i am here to a virtual stranger.

while i am proud of my background and how i came to be who, what, and where i am today, i want to share it on my own terms. i don't appreciate nosy questions about it when i know it's prompted solely by my looks. in other words, i feel that in many cases it wouldn't even be asked if i was white--and it's not a good feeling. (but on the flip side, i don't mind when someone asian asks me...does this make me racist and/or prejudice? :( )

yesterday i was hosting two visitors to our office. my ethnicity had absolutely nothing to do with why they were there and i highly doubt the woman (yup, she was white) would've asked shrek, or any other hires for that matter, where their parents "settled from." yet, after asking if i grew up here and commenting on my not having "an accent," she asked me where my parents "settled from." and when she didn't like my answer which was only the honest truth (chicago and iowa), she asked where their parents "settled from."


uhh, well, france, switzerland and ireland.

while a part of me took glee in her obvious confusion and flusteration (like that one?), an even greater part was just annoyed and uncomfortable and i finally caved, handing her the missing piece of the puzzle on a silver platter: "i'm adopted."

it's sticky, dealing with ignorance, because some people are just outright assholes (like ricardo, the drunk who kept asking me who my first president was even after i kept answering, "george washington"). however, many are like this woman: simply curious and trying to make polite conversation (but agitating me). it also doesn't help that i'm a genuinely nice person, so i don't push back as hard as i usually wish i had looking back on the situation.

it's also sticky because i wasn't born in the u.s., so when people ask me point blank where i was born (mostly just wanting to figure out if i'm chinese, japanese, korean, etc.), i actually claim one of those countries as my birthplace. but that's it. shrek and i joke that he's more asian than i am after having grown up down here. (he loves sticky rice, can properly use chopsticks, and just introduced me to pho -- a favorite dish of his -- a month ago). i, on the other hand, am apparently more italian than shrek after my upbringing (lots o' spaghetti!) and studying abroad twice in italy -- and shrek's mom is a santorelli! (i also don't like rice but love spaghetti, have come up with my own "unique" way of using chopsticks and had culture shock when i moved here after being raised in rural washington state for 18 years.)

still, people should not automatically assume i wasn't born here just because of the way i look. i have plenty of friends who look like me (i.e. asian) and were born here. and i have plenty of friends who are white who weren't born here and aren't even u.s. citizens!